IM or not

I am on day 2 of recovery from my procedure. All ok so far. Well, it still hurt to poop yesterday, but I assume it will get better with time. The Venmo scam thing has been bothering me. I don't want to think it's her, but it could be. That's bothering me. Hopefully time will tell. Justin and I are talking like before again. He makes me laugh. He brings me comfort. He's a good friend. I had a dream that Peter broke up with Mary. My dreams have been better since getting back with Justin. Less dark. Maybe because it's a distraction. I'm tired of being strong. I just want to be loved. I want to let go. Be silly. Take risks. I'm sensing something off at work. I will ask Celina today. Something is going on that's not flowing. Not sure what. I am going for a run today. Yes, a run. This will help me make up my mind on the IM. I don't really want to do it. I might not. I am going to see how this run feels. And go from there. I can decide later. It;s just money, not worth the pain if I have it. 

I'm grateful for...

- love

- hope for a full recovery

- my health, physically, emotionally, and mentally 

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