Write a Book

I had the weirdest dream last night that we were being chased, and were asked to fight those coming. I sat at a table and talked to kids, some guy was next me that I think liked me that I was trying to impress. Then, Marcela was upset about something and I was trying to make it better. Marcela is in my dreams a lot. I wonder why. I woke up with a headache.

I had a tough day yesterday. It was a back and fourth on thoughts about Justin day. It was tough. Going back and fourth is always hard, and especially when you throw in regret. I get triggered here and there and somethings parked the thought of wanting to call him in the morning. Then, I went for a swim and it helped. Distraction helps. But, I got close again at night. Which is why I think I am just lonely. I listened to a podcast yesterday that was eye opening. It makes sense. Deeper but fewer relationships is the key. I wish I would have realized that earlier in life, like in DC. I had none. Not one deep relationship. And now I had Justin, so deep, at least I think so, and it's over. Gone. So how do I find more. Wait until Ecuador. No, deepen the ones you have now. Deepen those connections. Sonja. Carlos. Mercedes. Kim. Jenny. Patty. Mommy. I just thought about something mommy told me yesterday. There is so much I don't know. We don't know. Write a book. Deepen your connection with mommy and write a book. Yes! 

I'm grateful for...

- love

- my writing

- family

- getting to go to Boquete this weekend

- my health, physical, mental , emotional

- my job

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