No more

I m doing it again. I think that it's because I hate feeling full. I can't seem to get back to where I was in Panama. The only thing I can think of is that I am not biking as much. I was doing 2 hrs a day and pilates most days. Here I just do weekends and sometimes 2 days a week plus an hour on the trainer. I also have more of an appetite. I am more relaxed. So, no more sugar. No more vitamin gummies. No more gum or halls. Just stop with that for starters. Then, when I go to my new place I will cook and take my lunch. That could help. I think. I want my body back. The one I had in Panama. I can barely recognize myself anymore. I look big. I miss the way I used to look. I miss how I felt. The funny thing is it is probably not that much different in terms of weight, but because I stopped pilates weight shifted. 

As for Justin, I don't know what we are doing. Four years seems dumb. I am not doing that. Or am I? 

I'm grateful for..

- family

- life

- choices I can make

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