Friends

Justin said we needed to talk about what we are doing over xmas. I am not ready for him to see my family, I don't think. He can come here after the retreat or I can go there. I kind of want to go home, but not sure what that would look like with him there. It's complicated. Should it be, though? It shouldn't. I should want to see him. I should be counting the days, shouldn't I? right now he is comfort. He is my stability. He is my comfort blanket. He is my rock. And there is nothing wrong with that. I need that. If not, I would be alone, or would I be? The truth is that I want him as a friend. I want him as someone to lean on like I lean on Sonja and Peter. I want him as my best friend, a companion. That's the truth.

I'm grateful for...

- Hope that I will be healthy again and can bike 

- Love for family and friends

- Trust in myself that I am making the right decisions and on the right path

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