No Home

I had a dream susie daughter, I think, was kidnapped. It may have been someone else, but the little girl went missing and we figured out that she was most likely kidnapped. It all means the same thing, feeling vulnerable and fear of losing control over a certain situation. My job. I don't know what will happen with Peace Corps and I don't have a plan B. It could happen. I could end up being abruptly fired. I could have to quickly find a place to ship my stuff. Find a job. It would be challenging, but I would get through it. Maybe that's where I should start. Where I would live. I would have to get a place, or rent one somewhere cheap and active. Maybe Idaho or Colorado. I would need a job eventually, but I don't think that will come quickly. I should start thinking of where I would live. I don't really ant to go back to the states. I like living overseas. But, I would have to pick a place. Not Florida. Not DC. Not California. Maybe somewhere out west. I don't know where home would feel like. I just know where home doesn't feel like. 

I went on the bike trip with Epic to Carchi this weekend, it was fun. I enjoyed the company. Freddy was so friendly. We connected. It was short enough to make me realize I don't need to do these long rides anymore. It also made me miss home at the end. So maybe that second R&R doesn't have to be a bike trip. Maybe it can be a trip home to see family and something else. Maybe I can spend Christmas in Galapagos, or climbing. I will start planning that after March. In case I hav enough home after we get the budget.

I'm grateful for...

- Getting to go on the trip to Carchi and meeting Freddy

- My health

- Still having my job

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