Time To Let Go

I am in the same pattern I was in with Peter. Me and Justin are talking every day. Every day multiple times a day. I feel the same way I did with Peter. I knew he wasn't right, but I felt a comfort. I felt a dependence. I feel that now with Justin. Like I need to talk to him all the time. And I have a little hope that I didn't quite lose him yet. It made me feel better yesterday though that he told me there was no hope. f course, it stung, but at least now I know. It's over. I listened to that podcast yesterday with Esther. It was so scary how much that woman sounded like me. Just like me. Dating someone where you have the upper hand. Wanting to be seen. Lonely inside. Fearing rejection. Prefers long distance. Prefers distance. It's all me. Justin taught me this lesson. I need to break the pattern. I need to venture out. I don't know what that looks like really. But, I know it doesn't look like talking to Justin every day. Or every time I get lonely. Maybe it's time to let go. Maybe we can be friends again another time. Right now I need to move on. Open the door for someone else to see me. The right person. 

I'm grateful for...

- Listening to that podcast yesterday

- Realization that I am stuck in a pattern

- My health 

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