Break The Cycle

I had a dream with poppy, just at the very end. I was trying to find Marcelas house with nito and patty. Patty was being too relaxed. I needed to stop at government building but couldn't find it on google maps, so I kept going to marcela's. Poppy was there and when I kissed him he said we were an hour late. It reminded me when I woke up that this is how it was, all the time. Tip toeing around him. Being disappointed. Feeling like I did something wrong. I remember when we brought over 2 bottles of th wine poppy liked, La Crema, He had visitors and was upset that me and Sean came over. Tio Vitoco was there. Poppy got mellow and depressed when he stopped drinking. The drinking woke him up. He was so angry. I am so hard on myself, of course I am. Even now, I can't be content. He was never content. Break the cycle, Anni. I am content. I have everything I want and need. I have my health, my family, financial stability. I have it all right now. What's missing? I think it's spiritual maybe, or more connection. There is something that I'm missing. What's that other part Kat mentioned? And why am I scared of it? I know I am scared of getting close to people. Who do I need to get close to?

I'm grateful or...

- Justin

- My therapist

- Friends

- My health 

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