Cacao Ceremony at Temple

I went to a cocoa ceremony at the the temple in Tumbaco yesterday. Almost fainted. It was intense. I didn't finish the cacao. I felt an energy. I saw me as a kid. First running, then angry and fighting, and finally me holding her hand and laying in bed with her. It felt special. Something that popped in my mind was trauma. Helping people with trauma. I remember something woke up inside me when that volunteer mentioned she was going to school for that. I wonder if there is something there I need to pursue. A program perhaps, like I wanted to do with the refugees. Or another career. A trauma social worker. I am so angry at poppy right now. I wonder if it has to do with what happened as a kid. Or just everything. How I am now, avoidant. But, the thing is I am different and I need to embrace that. Break the cycle of my family lineage. All the women were abused. Grandma maybe, Omie, Mommy. I refused to be that way. Marcela, Susi. I chose to be different. I am choosing to be different. It's ok. Embrace that. Embrace my difference. Live life as an adventure. Unattached. Not letting any man abuse me, anymore. As for moving forward, I will pay attention to messages. I hope I hear from Kat. I feel more open. Maybe the message will come in now.

I'm grateful for...

- The session yesterday and being ok after even though it was a little dangerous 

- Sonja

- Justin

- A good ride yesterday with Titos 

- My health

- My job

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