Gravel Fest

I went to the gravel ride with Felipe and the team to do the second part of gravel fest. It was fun, such an adventure. It rained almost the whole time, but I wasn't cold. Well, not until the very end and then I was shivering. It was nice to be with a small group that waited for each other and made jokes, and were having fun on the bike. It reminded me of Patagonia, or even Japan. Here is the thing though. It made me feel like I am over those adventures with companies, for several weeks. I am also over the goals of ultra cycling. I am just as happy doing a normal ride, and occasional long one, at a nice pace, and then going home and spending time on other things. I don't need to prove myself anymore. I don't need to obsess. I just need to live, and use that time for other things. Or make space for other things. I decided I won't do all three days of gravel fest, just one and maybe 2. The first and last. That's all. I will sleep in my own bed in between. Or do something else the other two days. Probably the latter. I also will stop being so obsessive about finding the right person, or if I should stay friends with Justin. It doesn't matter because that is a distraction too, from my purpose. And until I get there I won't find him. Or he won't find me. So now I just need to take care of myself. Enjoy myself. Be present. Make connections. Breather. stay healthy. And stay open. I will find my purpose. It's out there, and it's waiting for me.

I'm grateful for...

- the ride yesterday and hanging out with new people form Audax

- my job and still having one

- life and getting to live it every day

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