Cotopaxi

I had a dream yesterday that Poppy was meeting Justin with the family. Patty was disappointed when she saw me with him. I gave him a massage and hurt him somehow. So much that he had to take his clothes off and was naked when poppy met him. So weird. I am talking to Justin again, a lot lately. Mostly because of his mom and this trip. He's comforting. I wonder if the dream was warning me. Don't hurt him again. Stop hurting him. Or, is it that I am hurting myself. I don't know why I can't just give in. Surrender to love. Even if I did he wouldn't come around. He said it himself. He can't love me like that anymore. He can't get close to me. So, get that out of your mind, Anni. Friends. That's it. It has to be it. 

I went to the doctor yesterday and I'm fine. It's just dryness in the air and probably a virus like I had in Chile. The combination of the two. I was cleared. So, here we go Cotopaxi. I don't need to do Chimborazo. Let's see if I like Cotopaxi first. Them, I can do it another time. Kind of a waste of money, but I would rather be back here. I can go to Banos on a long weekend and enjoy it my own way on a nice place. There will be time. An American long weekend. Maybe even January 20. Let's see. As for this tour I need to really stop thinking about the money. Sure, it would have been cheaper if I did it locally, but it's done. Stop looking back. I could have wasted more money in other ways. For sure. I don't know why I fixate on it so much, but that's ok. Let's just enjoy this trip. Enjoy the mountains. And climb Cotopaxi. Next year I can do Chimborazo for Christmas. Let's see if I like it first, and how my lungs do. 

I had another dream that my bike was stolen...bingo. Inner thief. Go away. 

Dreaming of something stolen 

often reflects feelings of vulnerability, loss of control, or fear of losing something important (like power, identity, or opportunities) in your waking life, but it can also point to guilt, repressed frustrations, or an inner "thief" sabotaging your efforts.

I'm grateful for..

- Justin

- Adventure and getting to climb Cotopaxi

- Getting to do this stuff financially

- Life

- My health physically, emotionally, and mentally 

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