It's Not Fair

Here we go. Going to Panama. I pulled the trigger. Done. Still not sure how to handle the party, and Sonja and the ride Sunday but I will figure it out. Today, like I told Elizabeth. Sort it out today. Communicate today. I will just tell them I am taking a later flight, go to Josune when I get there and wait for Sonja. Have a nice night with her. Ride in the morning and find some time for Mercedes and Carlos after. Done. Hopefully. 

I talked to Elizabeth yesterday, it's been a while. A month. She helped me talk through  the Panama dilemma and running when things get tough. Poppy was like that. She also helped me talk through feeling guilty and responsible about mommy. I will try to call her today. I am so frustrated with this situation. Like Patty said, it's not fair. None of it is. Her situation. Nito's situation, and how it falls on us. Hard. I'm so mad, sad, and frustrated at the same time. Her alone is one thing. But Nito will be so hard to manage. And it's not on us, it's not our fault, or our doing. She caused this. And now we have to clean it up. I know that doesn't sound fair to say, but it's how I feel. Left with a burden that we didn't ask for or cause. I wish it could be different. 

I'm grateful for...

- Elizabeth

- My health physical, emotionally, and mentally

- Life and getting to live it to the fullest

- Family 

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