Chapter Closed

 Sad, and also relieved, I didn't know you could be both of those things, but you can apparently. I ended it with Justin. Relationship dead. I told him forever and he agreed. H reacted upset but I don't think he was. H was still mad that I didn't agree with him about giving money to his wife to babysit. We definitely disagree on that one. He also said that he doesn't want anything further right now, which hurt. He was so sure. Maybe he has someone else, or maybe he is just really hurt by me. He sees me. Knows I will do it again. So, there it is. We ended it for good. No more contact. Chapter closed. It was a long chapter too. I didn't lose 3 years though. I could have been with other men, I think I just lost a friend. I will give now and it will hurt. Because he was a good friend. I gained a lot with him. I had a good transition. I had a friend during hard times. I had hope for love and a relationship. I had company. I had someone who loved me. I had someone to talk to. Someone to vent to and be upset with. Someone how listened. And that was a good thing. It's just that if we keep going I will get hurt. And I won't make space for someone else, just like I did with Peter. It was time. And so it is. The end. Let's hope something else arrives now that the door is open. 

I had a dream with poppy again. This time he was showing me and Marcela around. We got to a place kind of like sea world for sharks and the guy brought us up. I was scared. But, there weren't sharks or they were but they were tamed. Bingo. 

• Unconscious Emotions: They might represent powerful, disowned emotions or urges (like aggression or hunger) from your "shadow self" that are surfacing.
• Inner Power & Instinct: Sharks also symbolize strength, survival, and navigating difficult situations with determination, urging you to tap into your own power.

I'm grateful for...

- The strength to end things with Justin for good

- Life 

- Hope for finding real love

- My health physically emotionally and mentally