Space

We are in day 3. Jenny and Andrea did the race yesterday and I rode. It was a nice ride. I really did enjoy it. Safe, pretty, rolling hills. The best part was I that I was riding and I had my space. This trip feels a little like work to be honest. I don't feel relaxed at all, yet. Hopefully I will in the Galapagos. The truth is I only feel relaxed when I am riding on vacation. If not it's all logistics. I know that, too., This is different because they are here. So, I just need to Make the best of it. enjoy my time with them. And learn from it. Next time make it shorter, or go somewhere where I don't have to host. 

It's funny too because I haven't been around people like this in a while. Justin was my only practice, and he was a good guest. But, I am noticing that it wasn't just Justin. It's everyone. Jenny eats loudly, so does Andrea. Just laying next to Jenny watching that movie was so annoying. She smacks her lips. At dinner she slurps her soup. Justin didn't do that, but I was annoyed. It's just being close to people that annoys me. This close. I need my space. Period. I hope I can learn to be with someone that close romantically. I've been thinking about reaching out to Justin again to be friends. I want to talk to Elizabeth first, though. I have to wait a week for that. That's ok. I mis the comfort of his friendship. I miss him, too, Here when I get home. Someone to spend time with. But then, I want him gone. What is this abut me? Why do I do this? 

I'm grateful for...

- My health physical, emotionally, and mentally

- Keeping my routine with diet and biking while they are here

- Learning that asking for space is important to me

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