Being Vulnerable

So embarrassing. I was vulnerable. I interpretated his message wrong. I must be wanting something else, something more. To be loved. A relationship. I tool lets watch something together as let's be together. So embarrassing. But, that's ok. I will still talk to him. I won't sabotage it this time. I won't let it weigh on me. I will just laugh it off and be vulnerable. That's what life is about. Just be what you are. And right now, I feel vulnerable with him. That's ok. I really don't think it will turn into anything anyways. He's there without a concrete plan to come here. I have my life too. He lives in Medellin. We will see how the cards play out. In the meantime, I will continue to date. See what happens. Go from there. 

As for Justin, I need to stop talking to him. I only do it because I'm lonely. Not because I have feelings. I am still resentful from when we were in Dominican Republic. I need to tell him this weekend. It's important so he doesn't hang on. We are not building anything. I keep thinking about what the tarot reader said about him. Kill it. End it. Then things will flourish. If she's right, which I want her to be, it needs to end. Clean slate. 

As for studying something, I need to get on that. Sports nutrition or nurse? I still think about being a nurse.  I just don't know about going to that from here. For sports nutrition, I enjoy it and can see myself combining it with other things like IIN where I can coach people. Holistic nutrition could be interesting too, but too similar to what I learned at IIN. Maybe I can start by taking the course. 

I'm thankful for...

- Hope for finding a partner

- My health physically, mentally, and emotionally

- Life and getting to live and ride

- Friends I am making and how I am connecting more with people 

- Family 

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