New Beginnings

Justin called me yesterday. I was home and saw his name and worried that it might be something serious. That was the agreement. Call when something is wrong. Nothing was wrong but he updated me on his stomach appointment. We talked more and more. Then I asked myself why are we punishing ourselves. He meets that deep connection I need. Why do I have to separate from it. I guess because I was starting to imagine him as the one, and he isn't, anyways, let's see what happens between now and November. I was starting to move on. I can get there again. I know I can. This is helping me search for other things. Prioritize other things. Maybe even meet new people. Elizabeth said something interesting the other day. she said that being able to have that deep connection quickly is a good thing, but can also be bad because you draw people in too quickly who may not be the person for you. She also said that people who live overseas seem to have that challenge of connecting with friends at ho...

I had a little bit of a hard time yesterday. I think because I had too much time on my hands. I will have to change that moving forward. Normally I would have gone on a ride, but I am being careful with my hip which is also important. I invited Ruth to lunch and we chatted. She has a pure soul. She is kind. I like her energy. I can't get stuck in this staying home and watching tv though. I need to get out more. I will. Question is do I want a dog. Or can I do it in other ways. I don't want to procrastinate too much. But I do feel like I could use something else in my life. Maybe I will volunteer. That could be interesting. I wonder how I can do that.  I'm grateful for... - life - my health physically, emotionally, mentally - hope for healing - my mental strength - being in this hotel and doing classes

I did it. I had the conversation. We did. We are taking a no contact break for one month and then we will reassess. I will be ok. I feel that I will. I am hopeful that we can be friends again. That we can have each other in our lives. November 11 is what we decided. It's for the best. I love him as a friend and I want that back. We just need to break this habit. That's all. In the meantime I will focus on me and he will focus on him. It will be good. I miss talking to him but it was a habit. It was keeping me from including other people in my life. It wasn't what Elizabeth said. She said 3-6 months. And maybe it becomes that. But, for now one month is good. Im happy with that. I'm grateful for... - Patty - Letting Justin go - Friends like Jenny and Sonja - Hope for healing - My health mentally, physically, nd emotionally