Nervous System

I haven't looked at instagram in almost a day, and I think I need to keep it that way. I don't want to search for his name anymore. It feels almost like a drug, like I can breathe after I see he hasn't took down photos of us or hasn't added anything. Then I feel conencted in some weird way when I see when the last time he was on instagram. This is a step, we will see how it goes. It's just my nervous system recovering from a trauma bond. That's all this is. Believe that. Trust that. Trust the process.

Yesterday was a hard day, I am starting to grow tired of the sling and not being able to bike. It's exhausting and I still have 3 more weeks. I guess it's expected since I have been distracted until now. But I am keeping busy as much as I can. I will have to find something to do this weekend though and the next long one or I will go nuts. 

I'm grateful for...

- Hope for healing of my arm and from him

- Family and realization of stuck patterns 

- My job 

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