Plane Crash

I'm in DC. I went to see Jenny when I got here. Got a bike share and rode to my old place, the Whole Foods. It was nice to see her and the kids, and talk while trick or treating. She's so anxious about Jason not writing her back. I thought about George a lot on the trip here. Mostly because of Italy. Him dropping me off, me checking in. Thinking about someone thinking about me at home. It was nice. I would be having a video call with him right now. I miss that. I don't miss what followed in Italy, but I miss that. Someone caring about me. I have friends that do. And family. But it's not the same. He cared about me or did he just need me close? I will always wonder about that. How much of it was love and how much of it was anxious attachment. I was the person he needed. But, was I his person? I will never know. 

I had a dream so vivid about me walking with Patty and I stopped to observe a plane in the sky. I think it was in Ecuador. The wings were flapping as if one was failing and it was moving forward and backwards. At first I thought it was the wind and a tough landing, but then it started to fall and it crashed in the water. Lots of smoke. I saw it all happen. I had a flight I think soon and was scared to fly. 

End of a Season: The dream may signal that a major phase of your life—such as a job, a relationship, or a personal goal—is coming to a disruptive close.

  • The Crash into Water: This is your breakup. Ending a relationship with someone you still love—even when you know they aren’t good for you—creates massive internal turbulence. The water represents the deep, unresolved grief and feelings you are still wading through.
  • The Ground Perspective: Watching a crash from solid ground shows your awareness that the relationship was going down, but you chose the safety of the "ground" (ending it) to protect yourself.
Bingo. 

I'm grateful for...

- Patty 
- Jenny and seeing her yesterday
- Getting through two months of breaking up with out going back to George 

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